Friday, June 02, 2006

Combatant 2

Representing the luxury beach resort of Bognor Regis, Cobatant 2 is a twenty something male with a wide variety of talents, ranging from the ability to bounce 5p coins into pint glasses, to instantly looking German when wearing other people's glasses. Proficient in one language plus the naughty words from many others like French, German, Latin and indeed Eskimo, and with a passable Pirate dialect, he will be invaluable as we traverse largely English speaking countries.

Trained in the dubious sounding discipline of "Spin and Pump", and with supreme hand-eye co-ordination honed by many years practicisng the ways of PS2, combatant 2 has skills to battle the fiercest of tortoises. Maybe even a landlocked turtle if he used the element of surprise.

Pet hates - Losing at Pro-Evolution Soccer. Middle aged people that salsa dance at any opportunity, especially wearing vests. Missing Top Gear.

Pet Loves - G&T o'clock. Pompey FC and Harry (boo to you too). Motorbikes. Writing his future award winning script.

Strengths - The much flexed guns, affectionately named Smith and Weston. Lethal with both cricket bat and ball. Master of hypnosis just like Derren Brown.

Weaknesses - Diminishing strength of the Samson variety. Betfair. Prone to sneezing fits.


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